Opening Scene: Mind Crime (a WIP)

I’ve been participating in Nerd Alert Book Love’s 12 Days of Fun today (thanks snow day! Without you I would have had to wait until 3 or later), and I’m having a wonderful time! Thanks so much for joining us, and a big thank you to our wonderful hosts! I wanted to share the opening scene from Mind Crime, what I am planning to be the first entry in my Tabula Rasa series, and also my NaNoWriMo project this year. Sadly, I didn’t come close to 50,000 words; I barely broke 10K but the story is somewhere between a third and just under halfway done. There is no release date yet, but I plan to work on this alongside the sequel to Riptide in the coming weeks/months (between study sessions for my remaining 3 NYS teacher tests. Yeah, my plate is pretty full right now.) Mind Crime is a touch darker than what I’ve written so far, but this is a project I started a LONG time ago.

Since this scene is fairly long, I figured I’d share it here. If you’ve never stopped by my website/blog before, WELCOME! It’s nice to have you. Whether you’ve been here before or not, I hope you enjoy this scene. Remember, this is completely unedited. 


Frigid rain fell from the sky, making it difficult to see. Traffic was sparse, but cars slowed down due to a puddle flowing across the narrow strip of asphalt that served as a street. Huddling against the building, Aiden wished he were home. The canvas awning offered little shelter from the relentless pour.

Aiden cupped his hands, pressing them against his lips and blew into them in a vain attempt to warm them with his breath. A lone car rolled past slowly, its wipers sweeping across the windshield furiously. He watched the red glow of the taillights until they disappeared around the corner.

The city was different at night. The business district came alive in the day with people hurrying to meetings and working lunches. At night, the bars lining the deserted streets were full of patrons. Men with an abundance of dollar bills crammed into the strip clubs, like the one across the street from this dingy brick building.

He waited for his target to emerge from the seedy venue. A raindrop slipped down his cheek and he swiped at it with icy digits and an exasperated sigh, the sole indicator of his impatience to complete the job and go dry off.

The nondescript door open, splashing the slick gray sidewalk with a rectangle of light, offering a brief glimpse of the hazy, dimly lit interior and spilling hard rock music—it sounded like AC/DC—into the night.

Six men stepped off the curb. Aiden straightened, moving his hand around to where his gun rested at his back. He didn’t need a weapon for this assignment, his bare hands would have more than sufficed, but since he was a deadly shot, the firearm would get him out of the rain sooner. He didn’t like to be wet.

One by one, the men got into cabs until a sole patron remained. Aiden knew the guy had arrived hours earlier in a company car that he’d parked down the street. The man pulled his raincoat closed and hunched his shoulders in an attempt to give the persistent onslaught as small a target as possible.

Aiden didn’t care to know any more about his marks than necessary. None of it mattered. He was there to do a job and get gone, not to make friends.

Trailing his target at a distance, Aiden waited until the man slid behind the wheel of the luxury sedan before approaching. Pulling the waterproof hood over the cap he wore low on his forehead, Aiden knocked on the window. The glass disappeared into the door with a muted whirr. “Aiden. What brings you here?” Droplets of perspiration sprang up on the doctor’s brow. He knew exactly from a nighttime visit from Aiden meant. Without speaking, without thinking, Aiden aimed and calmly squeezed the trigger, shooting the middle-aged man between the eyes.

Spinning, Aiden shoved the pistol into his deep pocket, keeping his hand on the butt and strode unhurriedly from the BMW.

© 2013, Michelle Moklebust


Just a reminder, this great event continues through 12/14/13 and in conjunction with the 12 Days of Fun Bash, I have a Smashwords coupon for 50% off an ebook of either Riptide or Ghost Whispers. I also have a nifty gift certificate. The coupon will be gone when the event ends, but you can redeem it until Jan. 2, 2014. 


I write paranormal stories, usually YA with a dash of romance added in. I have been a bank teller, a school photographer, a news photographer, and a special education teacher.

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